Finally! After more than a year of 9-5 drudgery, me and my travel tales are back on the road as of April 2nd!!
Stay tuned.....
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
They're Baaa-aaack!
Finally! After more than a year of 9-5 drudgery, me and my travel tales are back on the road as of April 2nd!!
Stay tuned.....
Monday, January 30, 2012
Aussie Choons
Australia Day means listening to Triple J Hottest 100 and going to a BBQ and/ or going to Big Day Out, where Triple J interviews artists and plays acts live. Either way, lots of good tunes float around in January and here are a few that have been following Ryan and I:
Feel So Close - Calvin Harris
The Black Keys - Lonely Boy
Nero - Promises
There's also been a lot of Lana Del Ray - the featured artist this week and she was the featured artist on MTV while we were in Bali. Ryan kind of loathes her but I'm digging it:
Video Games
Born to Die
Big Day Out itself was an absolute gong show - cracked the first Canadian Club & Dry can at 7:30am and went to bed about 24 hrs later at Ryan's sister's house... where I slept in a bed with Alex for 3 hours while all three of the Scott siblings went to titty breakfast at the top pub. When they came back around 11am we set up the beer pong table and get 'er rolling again, crashing hard and sudden at 8pm at Ryan's parents place who had surprisingly few questions considering they hadn't seen us in 2 days
Not even joking, I felt hungover for about 3 days afterwards and heavily relied on Jimmy for runs on the beach to create natural mood elevation. Dogs, hey? Even when you've been tearing it up for 2 days straight and then are surly as shit about it they still just want a stick and a cuddle.
Today Ryan helped out his buddy Wade pour a concrete slab in the back so he can build a Pagola (sundeck shed thing). While the boys tooled around with this, I went to the beach with his 2 yr old daughter and Grandma. It is so embarrassing how an Australian toddler shows stronger abilities in the water than I do - just stuck her face right in there! Ryan says, "at least you're getting there" which is very close to what I told the little girl today when she made wee wee in the potty. :-P
Feel So Close - Calvin Harris
The Black Keys - Lonely Boy
Nero - Promises
There's also been a lot of Lana Del Ray - the featured artist this week and she was the featured artist on MTV while we were in Bali. Ryan kind of loathes her but I'm digging it:
Video Games
Born to Die
Big Day Out itself was an absolute gong show - cracked the first Canadian Club & Dry can at 7:30am and went to bed about 24 hrs later at Ryan's sister's house... where I slept in a bed with Alex for 3 hours while all three of the Scott siblings went to titty breakfast at the top pub. When they came back around 11am we set up the beer pong table and get 'er rolling again, crashing hard and sudden at 8pm at Ryan's parents place who had surprisingly few questions considering they hadn't seen us in 2 days
Not even joking, I felt hungover for about 3 days afterwards and heavily relied on Jimmy for runs on the beach to create natural mood elevation. Dogs, hey? Even when you've been tearing it up for 2 days straight and then are surly as shit about it they still just want a stick and a cuddle.
Today Ryan helped out his buddy Wade pour a concrete slab in the back so he can build a Pagola (sundeck shed thing). While the boys tooled around with this, I went to the beach with his 2 yr old daughter and Grandma. It is so embarrassing how an Australian toddler shows stronger abilities in the water than I do - just stuck her face right in there! Ryan says, "at least you're getting there" which is very close to what I told the little girl today when she made wee wee in the potty. :-P
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Australia Day! 5 Terrifying Aussie Facts
Happy Australia Day!
Actually, it's tomorrow, but I'll be at Big Day Out in Sydney all day so I figured I'd do up a post now.
This is my 2nd Australia Day, and I've really become immersed in Australian culture this year - I feel like I'm no longer a tourist here, and am constantly learning new and surprising things about this land. In honour of Australia Day, here's 5 specific things I've learned recently that make this country as unique as all the freakish critters that live here.
1) Australian Fishing is Fucking Crazy
Last year I only went lake fishing, enjoying a nice calm day on the water with Ryan's parents in their large flat-bottomed boat. I got the impression that this was what most Aussie fishing was like... and I was wrong.
Like most things in the Australian natural world, the ocean here wants to kill you. I went out on Gamble's boat last week and it was a lovely calm evening, no wind and very mild in temperature. As soon as we got past the harbour, I realized that the swells are MASSIVE ROLLING JUGGERNAUTS that want to SMASH YOU. And this was a calm day. It's so strange - the top of the sea has no whitecaps or chop, but the whole thing is just pitching and rocking like a horrorshow. Ryan tells me the worst swell he's been out in was over 10 meters, and I believe this was at night in a "tinny" (Aluminum skiff). Jesus.
Keep in mind here, the Aussie spirit is not one to be defeated by something as pissy as a little swell, and I understand that it's common to not have any seats in the boat. Imagine standing in a little boat in a giant rocking ocean and holding onto the holy shit handles for dear life. It's like when I rode the bull in Queenstown, with similar results - disgust and horror. Ryan and Gamble, being used to this type of boat, don't even hold on, certainly don't wear life jackets, and somehow were able to drink 6 beers while constantly baiting and setting the lines. I have some work to do in this area of my Australian Immersion program.
2) Wetting the Head
Out at the pub the other week, the topic of a friend's baby came up and the boys started talking about how crazy it was when he "wet the head". I naively asked what this meant and the table fell silent... and then burst into thunderous Aussie laughter. Oh dear god.
It is an Australian tradition for a new father to "wet the head" as soon as the child has been safely delivered. Pretty much, once the baby is popped out and bundled up and mum's in recovery with the grandparents, the husband goes out and gets completely shitfaced. I asked Ryan's Dad about this and he said he only had something like 4 drinks and some cigars when he "wet the head" for Dean but probably more for Ryan. That's right, the husband goes out on the piss after EACH CHILD IS BORN.
Lisa, Ryan's sister, explained to me that it's best to have the baby in the middle of the night, because the boys would only come out for a couple pints in the late morning. But if you have your baby in the late afternoon or early evening, then it's a write off. Wow.
3) Aussie Sweet Tooth > Norwegian Sweet Tooth
Growing up with the last name Knutson, I often hear jokes about the Norwegian Sweet Tooth. Oh how we square heads enjoy cookies and cakes and things. In comparison with Australia, however, I can only say - Nah uh.
There are so many different types of candies (lollies) and cookies (bikkies) and ice cream treats here it's like Willy Wonka was secretly Australian. And it's not even like the candies are just different versions to what we enjoy in Canada - they have all the Canadian candy and treats PLUS a million other kinds. Some favourite chocolate bars:
Cherry Ripe
Summer Roll
Violet Crumble
Twirl
Flake
Peppermint Crisp
Picnic
And everyone eats at least one of these and/ or an ice cream treat every day. And coca cola, most chicks drink at least a litre of cola here in a day... and that's not including bundy & cola at the pub later.
This leads me to my next point...
4) Meat, Meat and then More Meat
... And then pour gravy all over it. Oh, no more thank you. Oh... oh still pouring, ok then. Thanks. :-|
Massive lamb chops, steaks and slabs of roast beef the size of my Uncle Fred's giant hand. And always, sausages on the side (at least 2) and usually mussels, prawns and/ or salami as an entree. PS - there are no appetizers in Australia, there are entrees. And the entrees are called mains. Quite confusing.
Combine the sweets, cola, meats, gravy, potatoes and breads and you get the 2nd highest obesity rate in the world. Among Ryan's parents and their friends, to not eat meat is rather un-Australian. You want to see a bunch of baby-boomer Australians get in a frenzy? Tell them you don't mind occasionally eating tofu. :-@
5) The Aussie Spirit is Unbeatable
This photo was taken last year somewhere around Cairns after cyclone Yasi ripped through, the category 6 storm I narrowly missed on that epic road trip.
Whenever I think of the Aussie spirit, and why I love this place and ultimately want to live here, I think of this photo.
This guy's house just got majorly fucked up. Like, beyond repair. His neighbourhood and all his neighbours are screwed...
What better time to have a beer!!! It's not the end of the world, mate.
After the apocalypse, I am certain that there will be cockroaches and Australians. They clearly have no problem living off various types of terrifying meats and aren't so fussy about fresh veg. Nearly dying in an ocean storm? That's a Tuesday night out with the blokes! Life is to be celebrated, whether you've just become a parent or your house has been ripped apart. Because, when you really get down to it, money comes and goes but a good bullshit with friends and family will always be priceless.
Happy Australia Day!
Actually, it's tomorrow, but I'll be at Big Day Out in Sydney all day so I figured I'd do up a post now.
This is my 2nd Australia Day, and I've really become immersed in Australian culture this year - I feel like I'm no longer a tourist here, and am constantly learning new and surprising things about this land. In honour of Australia Day, here's 5 specific things I've learned recently that make this country as unique as all the freakish critters that live here.
1) Australian Fishing is Fucking Crazy
Last year I only went lake fishing, enjoying a nice calm day on the water with Ryan's parents in their large flat-bottomed boat. I got the impression that this was what most Aussie fishing was like... and I was wrong.
Like most things in the Australian natural world, the ocean here wants to kill you. I went out on Gamble's boat last week and it was a lovely calm evening, no wind and very mild in temperature. As soon as we got past the harbour, I realized that the swells are MASSIVE ROLLING JUGGERNAUTS that want to SMASH YOU. And this was a calm day. It's so strange - the top of the sea has no whitecaps or chop, but the whole thing is just pitching and rocking like a horrorshow. Ryan tells me the worst swell he's been out in was over 10 meters, and I believe this was at night in a "tinny" (Aluminum skiff). Jesus.
Keep in mind here, the Aussie spirit is not one to be defeated by something as pissy as a little swell, and I understand that it's common to not have any seats in the boat. Imagine standing in a little boat in a giant rocking ocean and holding onto the holy shit handles for dear life. It's like when I rode the bull in Queenstown, with similar results - disgust and horror. Ryan and Gamble, being used to this type of boat, don't even hold on, certainly don't wear life jackets, and somehow were able to drink 6 beers while constantly baiting and setting the lines. I have some work to do in this area of my Australian Immersion program.
2) Wetting the Head
Out at the pub the other week, the topic of a friend's baby came up and the boys started talking about how crazy it was when he "wet the head". I naively asked what this meant and the table fell silent... and then burst into thunderous Aussie laughter. Oh dear god.
It is an Australian tradition for a new father to "wet the head" as soon as the child has been safely delivered. Pretty much, once the baby is popped out and bundled up and mum's in recovery with the grandparents, the husband goes out and gets completely shitfaced. I asked Ryan's Dad about this and he said he only had something like 4 drinks and some cigars when he "wet the head" for Dean but probably more for Ryan. That's right, the husband goes out on the piss after EACH CHILD IS BORN.
Lisa, Ryan's sister, explained to me that it's best to have the baby in the middle of the night, because the boys would only come out for a couple pints in the late morning. But if you have your baby in the late afternoon or early evening, then it's a write off. Wow.
3) Aussie Sweet Tooth > Norwegian Sweet Tooth
Growing up with the last name Knutson, I often hear jokes about the Norwegian Sweet Tooth. Oh how we square heads enjoy cookies and cakes and things. In comparison with Australia, however, I can only say - Nah uh.
There are so many different types of candies (lollies) and cookies (bikkies) and ice cream treats here it's like Willy Wonka was secretly Australian. And it's not even like the candies are just different versions to what we enjoy in Canada - they have all the Canadian candy and treats PLUS a million other kinds. Some favourite chocolate bars:
Cherry Ripe
Summer Roll
Violet Crumble
Twirl
Flake
Peppermint Crisp
Picnic
And everyone eats at least one of these and/ or an ice cream treat every day. And coca cola, most chicks drink at least a litre of cola here in a day... and that's not including bundy & cola at the pub later.
This leads me to my next point...
4) Meat, Meat and then More Meat
... And then pour gravy all over it. Oh, no more thank you. Oh... oh still pouring, ok then. Thanks. :-|
Massive lamb chops, steaks and slabs of roast beef the size of my Uncle Fred's giant hand. And always, sausages on the side (at least 2) and usually mussels, prawns and/ or salami as an entree. PS - there are no appetizers in Australia, there are entrees. And the entrees are called mains. Quite confusing.
Combine the sweets, cola, meats, gravy, potatoes and breads and you get the 2nd highest obesity rate in the world. Among Ryan's parents and their friends, to not eat meat is rather un-Australian. You want to see a bunch of baby-boomer Australians get in a frenzy? Tell them you don't mind occasionally eating tofu. :-@
5) The Aussie Spirit is Unbeatable
Whenever I think of the Aussie spirit, and why I love this place and ultimately want to live here, I think of this photo.
This guy's house just got majorly fucked up. Like, beyond repair. His neighbourhood and all his neighbours are screwed...
What better time to have a beer!!! It's not the end of the world, mate.
After the apocalypse, I am certain that there will be cockroaches and Australians. They clearly have no problem living off various types of terrifying meats and aren't so fussy about fresh veg. Nearly dying in an ocean storm? That's a Tuesday night out with the blokes! Life is to be celebrated, whether you've just become a parent or your house has been ripped apart. Because, when you really get down to it, money comes and goes but a good bullshit with friends and family will always be priceless.
Happy Australia Day!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Past Month :-P
I have seriously neglected this blog, and it's due to the best reasons. I've been traveling, or visiting with family and friends, or doing work around the house, or studying, or reading. I have been reading A LOT actually; books to date include:
"Remains of the Day" Kazuo Ishiguro
[just started, kind of boring]
"Town Like Alice" Nevil Shute
[my favourite book, re-read as I found a 1961 Pan copy for $2 in the Blue Mountains]
"Gone With The Wind" Margaret Mitchell
[So so so so good!!! A must read, even though it's massive]
"Bloodletting and Other Miraculous Cures" Vincent Lam
[a bunch of ER-style short stories, meh C+]
"Salt" Gabrielle Lord
[Random find in an op-shop in Melbourne and it's SOOOO GOOD]
"Booky Wook 2" Russell Brand
[Hillarious, as expected, and better than Booky Wook 1 in my opinion]
"In the Wake of the Plague: The Black Death and the World It Made" By Norman Cantor
[Nerdy find in an op-shop, read about 2/3 of it during my first days in Melbourne]
"In a Sunburned Country" Bill Bryson
[Kind of like this blog if it were written by a grown up, highly recommend it!!]
Most of these books I found in Salvation Army stores, or Op-Shops, as it seems that's the only way to get cheap books in Australia. Next on my To Read list are "The Stand" by Stephen King (a re-read of an old favourite) and "Tai Pan" by James Clavell which apparently is about Hong Kong. I got both of these books and a flannell shirt (Flan-o) for Ryan for $2.60. :-)
What else have I been up to in the past month??
Bali & Lombok
Ryan recovered from Bali Belly and we had some fun snorkeling trips in the Gilis, ate amazing food, drank Bintangs and walked around the islands chasing kittens. The Gilis really are a magical place and I recommend you get there as fast as possible because Gili Trawangan is already turning into Kuta, and Kuta resembles some kind of boozy version of hell.
Aussie Christmas
We arrived from Bali on the morning of the 24th and immediately got on the piss with Ryan's brother and sister as this is their family tradition. We were SMASHED by 4:30 in the afternoon and stumbled to Ryan's cousin Laura's house for a BBQ. We managed to drink an entire 26 of duty free Jim Beam there and got home at 10:30... where Ryan proceeded to stagger around naked, threw the dog in the pool and peed in a laundry basket in our room... which contained my hair dryer.
Christmas morning we opened presents, Ryan's mum and dad are so sweet and got me a pajama set and a journal and some weird Aussie candy they knew I hadn't tried before. Had a MASSIVE bbq at the auntie's place that afternoon.
New Years in Ulladulla
After weighing out the options of which club to go to hemorrhage money on drinks and taxi fare, Ryan and I decided to have a more laid back New Years' and headed to a friend of a friends' place in Ulladulla. This place is kind of like Parksville with awesome surf, and the locals are a nice hippie boozy sort. Camped out in a trailor and went on a 3 day bender with Ryan, Gamble, Wade and met a few other folks who were camped out on this guys' property as well. Boys went surfing, I went shopping at Op-shops and read, and drank lots of rum and beer.
To Orange!
After New Years' we came home and found that Dean, Ryan's brother, had been working on a bender of his own so we had a couple quiet movie nights with him and his girl Alex. Unfortunately, when Dean left, he forgot his entire toolbag in the garage which is somewhat necessary for his work as an electrician in the mines. So Ryan and I took a last-minute road trip to Canberra where we got to visit Alex's parents' farm again - yay!! I love that place - all kangaroos and alpacas and crickets and frogs. Delivered Dean's tools, and then offered to assist them with their move to Orange the following day. Which was good because Dean had a refrigerator, washing machine and 2 Datsons to pack and Alex had never operated a trailer. So Dean drove the Datsun out front, Ryan took all the gear on the trailer and Alex and I drove Ryan's Dad's truck in the rear making sure nothing fell off... and having lady chats for 3 hours while driving through the boonies of New South Wales.
Stayed in Orange and helped with the move and Dean and Alex shouted us a hotel room for all our help so we had a little party there hahaha Some notes on Orange PS - it's scary. There's a massive mine there which pays big big money... but the trade off is you have to live in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of mutants like in "The Hills Have Eyes". No offense to the kind country folk of Australia, but as we sat having breakfast on a patio in downtown Orange, I counted 1/3 people with some kind of... abnormality.
Back in the Illawarra
So now Ryan and I are chilling out at the parent's place with me doing dishes, laundry and pet care while Ryan renos around the house. Rent is cheap, food is good and the company is lovely. :-)
We go to the beach when the weather is nice and Ryan's been doing a lot of surfing, it's funny watching him learn to surf on his short board again. Go to friend's places the odd night, but mostly I'm just settling into life here. I like to think of this time as my Australian Immersion - watch cricket and try to learn the rules, trying new kinds of beer, getting acquainted with Aussie celebs and tv shows with Ryan's mum, learning how to cook Aussie style (ie meat, butter, cream and then more meat) - basically learning how to be Australian. :-P
Besides reading and housework, I've been brushing up on my Excel skills with online courses which is good for when I return to work. AND I found out last night that Ryan's sister Lisa still has all her homework from her Admin courses and will give me her old study books and software so I can learn about Australian Quickbooks etc.
So what I'm doing now is pretty much what I'll be doing for the rest of the month: tooling with courses on the computer before going off to do some housework. Ryan's at the beach surfing and will be back for brunch and then we'll get back to replacing the tiling around the pool. Pretty chill! :-P
Of course, January 26th is Australia Day... and we have tickets to Big Day Out. mwa ahahahahaha
"Remains of the Day" Kazuo Ishiguro
[just started, kind of boring]
"Town Like Alice" Nevil Shute
[my favourite book, re-read as I found a 1961 Pan copy for $2 in the Blue Mountains]
"Gone With The Wind" Margaret Mitchell
[So so so so good!!! A must read, even though it's massive]
"Bloodletting and Other Miraculous Cures" Vincent Lam
[a bunch of ER-style short stories, meh C+]
"Salt" Gabrielle Lord
[Random find in an op-shop in Melbourne and it's SOOOO GOOD]
"Booky Wook 2" Russell Brand
[Hillarious, as expected, and better than Booky Wook 1 in my opinion]
"In the Wake of the Plague: The Black Death and the World It Made" By Norman Cantor
[Nerdy find in an op-shop, read about 2/3 of it during my first days in Melbourne]
"In a Sunburned Country" Bill Bryson
[Kind of like this blog if it were written by a grown up, highly recommend it!!]
Most of these books I found in Salvation Army stores, or Op-Shops, as it seems that's the only way to get cheap books in Australia. Next on my To Read list are "The Stand" by Stephen King (a re-read of an old favourite) and "Tai Pan" by James Clavell which apparently is about Hong Kong. I got both of these books and a flannell shirt (Flan-o) for Ryan for $2.60. :-)
What else have I been up to in the past month??
Bali & Lombok
Ryan recovered from Bali Belly and we had some fun snorkeling trips in the Gilis, ate amazing food, drank Bintangs and walked around the islands chasing kittens. The Gilis really are a magical place and I recommend you get there as fast as possible because Gili Trawangan is already turning into Kuta, and Kuta resembles some kind of boozy version of hell.
Aussie Christmas
We arrived from Bali on the morning of the 24th and immediately got on the piss with Ryan's brother and sister as this is their family tradition. We were SMASHED by 4:30 in the afternoon and stumbled to Ryan's cousin Laura's house for a BBQ. We managed to drink an entire 26 of duty free Jim Beam there and got home at 10:30... where Ryan proceeded to stagger around naked, threw the dog in the pool and peed in a laundry basket in our room... which contained my hair dryer.
Christmas morning we opened presents, Ryan's mum and dad are so sweet and got me a pajama set and a journal and some weird Aussie candy they knew I hadn't tried before. Had a MASSIVE bbq at the auntie's place that afternoon.
New Years in Ulladulla
After weighing out the options of which club to go to hemorrhage money on drinks and taxi fare, Ryan and I decided to have a more laid back New Years' and headed to a friend of a friends' place in Ulladulla. This place is kind of like Parksville with awesome surf, and the locals are a nice hippie boozy sort. Camped out in a trailor and went on a 3 day bender with Ryan, Gamble, Wade and met a few other folks who were camped out on this guys' property as well. Boys went surfing, I went shopping at Op-shops and read, and drank lots of rum and beer.
To Orange!
After New Years' we came home and found that Dean, Ryan's brother, had been working on a bender of his own so we had a couple quiet movie nights with him and his girl Alex. Unfortunately, when Dean left, he forgot his entire toolbag in the garage which is somewhat necessary for his work as an electrician in the mines. So Ryan and I took a last-minute road trip to Canberra where we got to visit Alex's parents' farm again - yay!! I love that place - all kangaroos and alpacas and crickets and frogs. Delivered Dean's tools, and then offered to assist them with their move to Orange the following day. Which was good because Dean had a refrigerator, washing machine and 2 Datsons to pack and Alex had never operated a trailer. So Dean drove the Datsun out front, Ryan took all the gear on the trailer and Alex and I drove Ryan's Dad's truck in the rear making sure nothing fell off... and having lady chats for 3 hours while driving through the boonies of New South Wales.
Stayed in Orange and helped with the move and Dean and Alex shouted us a hotel room for all our help so we had a little party there hahaha Some notes on Orange PS - it's scary. There's a massive mine there which pays big big money... but the trade off is you have to live in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of mutants like in "The Hills Have Eyes". No offense to the kind country folk of Australia, but as we sat having breakfast on a patio in downtown Orange, I counted 1/3 people with some kind of... abnormality.
Back in the Illawarra
So now Ryan and I are chilling out at the parent's place with me doing dishes, laundry and pet care while Ryan renos around the house. Rent is cheap, food is good and the company is lovely. :-)
We go to the beach when the weather is nice and Ryan's been doing a lot of surfing, it's funny watching him learn to surf on his short board again. Go to friend's places the odd night, but mostly I'm just settling into life here. I like to think of this time as my Australian Immersion - watch cricket and try to learn the rules, trying new kinds of beer, getting acquainted with Aussie celebs and tv shows with Ryan's mum, learning how to cook Aussie style (ie meat, butter, cream and then more meat) - basically learning how to be Australian. :-P
Besides reading and housework, I've been brushing up on my Excel skills with online courses which is good for when I return to work. AND I found out last night that Ryan's sister Lisa still has all her homework from her Admin courses and will give me her old study books and software so I can learn about Australian Quickbooks etc.
So what I'm doing now is pretty much what I'll be doing for the rest of the month: tooling with courses on the computer before going off to do some housework. Ryan's at the beach surfing and will be back for brunch and then we'll get back to replacing the tiling around the pool. Pretty chill! :-P
Of course, January 26th is Australia Day... and we have tickets to Big Day Out. mwa ahahahahaha
Friday, December 16, 2011
Smokin' in Indo
Stop whatever you're doing right now and open a new browser window. Go to Orbitz.com and book yourself a flight to Bali immediately. Everything else can wait, you need to be here right now!!!
Imagine: White sand beaches, turquoise water, bijillions of fishes, many of them delicious. The rooms are cheap, the delicious food is cheap, the drinks are cheap. There are no cars here, only bicycles and pony-drawn carriages. Locals are friendly, tourists from all over the world are friendly and most are under 35. No cops. And kitties everywhere!!!
I am definitely in love with Gili T in a big big way, and not just because it's an 8 year olds' dream with all the kittens and ponies everywhere. Just the vibe of this place is incredible!!! I keep thinking about that movie The Beach and wonder, "fuck Leo! Spare yourself the drama, you coulda just found paradise here bro!!"
However, there are some drawbacks to this island paradise. It is very very warm and humid, and I spend most of my time being sticky. This is unfortunate as there is no fresh water on this island; yes, even the shower and tap water is extremely saline. I am also covered in bug bites, the skeeters are apparently in love with my maple-syrop blood. Another big drawback is Ryan has an explosive ass, and hasn't been in the best shape for the past 24 hours. He's a bit of a sucky baby when he doesn't feel well but is coming around a bit today and hopes to be in fighting form tomorrow.
I am so so so glad we're here now as planned and didn't just log all our time in Kuta straight away. Kuta is the big party scene in Bali and is chock-full of dickheads in Bintang singlets spewing all over the streets. Lots of cars and garbage and stray dogs and titty girls... was just talking to some folks who went surfing in Kuta and said they came out of the ocean covered in shreds of plastic bags.
Most shocking thing so far about Gili T, besides the sweltering heat of course, is the complete lack of police presence and party party atmosphere and lack of theft. It's the most incredible example of the honour system I've ever seen in my life!! Posters everywhere advertising "bloody-ripper" fungus products and people asking in the streets if you'd like to partake in this and that... but all the tourists are so well behaved!!!
The island operates on a 1-night-on-1-night-off system, with bumping parties every other night. On our first party night it was pissing (warm) rain and it was like a scene out of a Britney Spears video: dozens of wasted youngins drunk off their asses and writhing and wet in the streets. It was beautiful. :-)
So, I'm going to get out there and enjoy more of it... but just wanted to let you know how important it is that you get here as soon as possible before the rest of the world finds out how rad this place is. ;-)
Imagine: White sand beaches, turquoise water, bijillions of fishes, many of them delicious. The rooms are cheap, the delicious food is cheap, the drinks are cheap. There are no cars here, only bicycles and pony-drawn carriages. Locals are friendly, tourists from all over the world are friendly and most are under 35. No cops. And kitties everywhere!!!
I am definitely in love with Gili T in a big big way, and not just because it's an 8 year olds' dream with all the kittens and ponies everywhere. Just the vibe of this place is incredible!!! I keep thinking about that movie The Beach and wonder, "fuck Leo! Spare yourself the drama, you coulda just found paradise here bro!!"
However, there are some drawbacks to this island paradise. It is very very warm and humid, and I spend most of my time being sticky. This is unfortunate as there is no fresh water on this island; yes, even the shower and tap water is extremely saline. I am also covered in bug bites, the skeeters are apparently in love with my maple-syrop blood. Another big drawback is Ryan has an explosive ass, and hasn't been in the best shape for the past 24 hours. He's a bit of a sucky baby when he doesn't feel well but is coming around a bit today and hopes to be in fighting form tomorrow.
I am so so so glad we're here now as planned and didn't just log all our time in Kuta straight away. Kuta is the big party scene in Bali and is chock-full of dickheads in Bintang singlets spewing all over the streets. Lots of cars and garbage and stray dogs and titty girls... was just talking to some folks who went surfing in Kuta and said they came out of the ocean covered in shreds of plastic bags.
Most shocking thing so far about Gili T, besides the sweltering heat of course, is the complete lack of police presence and party party atmosphere and lack of theft. It's the most incredible example of the honour system I've ever seen in my life!! Posters everywhere advertising "bloody-ripper" fungus products and people asking in the streets if you'd like to partake in this and that... but all the tourists are so well behaved!!!
The island operates on a 1-night-on-1-night-off system, with bumping parties every other night. On our first party night it was pissing (warm) rain and it was like a scene out of a Britney Spears video: dozens of wasted youngins drunk off their asses and writhing and wet in the streets. It was beautiful. :-)
So, I'm going to get out there and enjoy more of it... but just wanted to let you know how important it is that you get here as soon as possible before the rest of the world finds out how rad this place is. ;-)
Friday, December 9, 2011
Songs and Videos of Melbourne
Because music and memories are like peas and carrots...
Clap Yo Hands
Disco Disco Disco Disco
Chicks on Longboards
Ready to Go
Clap Yo Hands
Disco Disco Disco Disco
Chicks on Longboards
Ready to Go
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Old Dog, New Tricks
I am 27 years old and yesterday I learned how to skateboard.
I've actually learned how to longboard, which is like the equivalent of owning a scooter and saying you know how to ride a crotch rocket, but it's pretty fun and I've enjoyed spending the last two days cruising along the St. Kilda boardwalk in the sun.
This newfound skill is due in large part to my new pal Li (Short for Lideweine or a similar difficult-to-pronounce Dutch name) who just purchased her new board the day before yesterday when we were walking around town together. Li and are became fast friends over sushi, as can often happen, and we've spent the last three-ish days cruising around together, skating and having picnics. We went to the salt baths again too, which was heaven, because the day before we walked around the CBD for about 7 hours. :-O And then directly after that, I went to a pole dance class. Luckily for my body it was a total joke.
I walked into the Pole Princess St. Kilda location at 6:15, early for class, and was handed a waiver and asked for my $15. I should have known from the two chicks at the front desk being completely absorbed in their iPhones that this experience was going to be a little different from the style I was familiar with back in Victoria. I asked them where the change room was and they vaguely waived me towards a back room on the other side of their lovely studio, mirrors all around, about 9 brass poles and a stage up front with a pole. "Oooh a stage for everyone to do performances!" I thought. Ha.
At 6:35 a super-fit Asian chick sauntered into the room, one of the girls that was texting up front earlier, and asked flat out who had been there before. About half the class raised their hands and she shrugged and plugged in her iPod. We began warm up with sneakers on, her barking out aerobic moves that half the girls knew and the other half, me included, kind of figured out along the way.
We were then instructed to go change, and thankfully I brought a pair of heels just in case as there was no mention of this on the website or on the phone. All the girls in the class donned their high heels, no one in the class danced barefoot. Also weird.
Scary lady comes out to the front and steps onto the stage - ah, now I see how this is going to go. She announces that we will be learning two moves today, three if we're lucky. Uh...... ok. Thanks?
First move we learn is the Lola or some crap - essentially a starfish with a showgirl on the end of it (my apologies for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's a backward spinny thing and not that hard). She demos it a couple times, barks out 12 things to remember while executing this 1.5 second move, and then walks around the class picking everyone apart. Now, I'm hip to dancing and can take critique to improve technique, but she was so rude I had to hold myself back from slapping her. First-time girls' faces crumbled as they did their best and the instructor responded with a "yeah.... kind of, just clean it up a bit" and walked on.
Second move, the foxy. This was a fireman spin with a kind of split grip... and God help you if your hands weren't exactly where she told you to put them. Scary.
Third move - ooh bonus! - she didn't even give a name I don't think and basically you reach your hands behind your head, grab the pole and then slip down to do the splits. An excellent move to show people who had never been on a pole before, but she did say "most of you won't get this but I'll show you anyway." Thanks! Some of you may have seen me try to execute this before with mixed results so I didn't mind that it didn't go super smooth, but some poor girls just couldn't even hold themselves up that way and felt all left out.
And then, finally, all of this built up to my favourite thing in the whole world - choreography!!!!!! :-D
As a group we were directed to go through all of these moves to crap music, plus about a dozen others like the body wave and the 180 that I knew and some of the regular girls knew but the teacher didn't actually demonstrate. At all. Now my freestyle spirit likes to dance to my own drum, however, in this scenario this was not acceptable. You land your spin on the wrong side, you get yelled at. Start on a beat other than "1" and you get yelled at. Do that body wave too slow or fast? Voted off the fucking island. So. so. so so. soooooooooooo stupid.
It's 7:15 and I think, "Ok, time for stretching and the chatty portion, this will be nice." Nope, you just stand there and the instructor tells you about the Pole Princess Ponzi Scheme and how there are 7 levels but most people can expect to repeat them several times. If you take casual pole, as that class was, well my friend you are Shit Outta Luck because she tends to teach the same moves in that all the time, and unless you sign up for Level 1 you're screwed. Then she does a pretty wicked demo of some quite impressive acrobatic moves and tells the girls they can maybe be like this one day if they enroll with Pole Princess and come to class 3 times a week for 3 years.
Now, some of you may know that I don't like it when people tell me to do something an exact way. This is why I quit piano and why I do most of my pole knowledge via youtube - because I do it to feel happy and have fun and I figure if it floats it's a fucking boat. So this class rubbed my the wrong way big time. It amazed me that about half the girls were die-hards who came to casual pole every few weeks and were quite stoked to learn the same moves all the time and probably never really improve.
After the class I was interested to have a chat with the instructor and talk about how the classes I was familiar with in Canada were very freestyle, not so much about the choreography and very into modifying moves for various levels of ability. Didn't really get that chance though as she'd already fled to the front desk to play on her iPhone, without even saying good evening to the class. Un. Real.
So, I was a bit let down with the Pole Princess group and wish them the very best success for a business that treats their clients like dumb dogshit. Good luck!
As they say, where one door closes another opens, and later that night I went down to the beach to check out the sunset with Li and this is where I took a stab at skateboarding for the first time. I ride with my left foot in front, she prefers to have her right foot forward, but amazingly we both cruise along just fine together doing whatever the eff we feel like. And we have fun doing it!
I've actually learned how to longboard, which is like the equivalent of owning a scooter and saying you know how to ride a crotch rocket, but it's pretty fun and I've enjoyed spending the last two days cruising along the St. Kilda boardwalk in the sun.
This newfound skill is due in large part to my new pal Li (Short for Lideweine or a similar difficult-to-pronounce Dutch name) who just purchased her new board the day before yesterday when we were walking around town together. Li and are became fast friends over sushi, as can often happen, and we've spent the last three-ish days cruising around together, skating and having picnics. We went to the salt baths again too, which was heaven, because the day before we walked around the CBD for about 7 hours. :-O And then directly after that, I went to a pole dance class. Luckily for my body it was a total joke.
I walked into the Pole Princess St. Kilda location at 6:15, early for class, and was handed a waiver and asked for my $15. I should have known from the two chicks at the front desk being completely absorbed in their iPhones that this experience was going to be a little different from the style I was familiar with back in Victoria. I asked them where the change room was and they vaguely waived me towards a back room on the other side of their lovely studio, mirrors all around, about 9 brass poles and a stage up front with a pole. "Oooh a stage for everyone to do performances!" I thought. Ha.
At 6:35 a super-fit Asian chick sauntered into the room, one of the girls that was texting up front earlier, and asked flat out who had been there before. About half the class raised their hands and she shrugged and plugged in her iPod. We began warm up with sneakers on, her barking out aerobic moves that half the girls knew and the other half, me included, kind of figured out along the way.
We were then instructed to go change, and thankfully I brought a pair of heels just in case as there was no mention of this on the website or on the phone. All the girls in the class donned their high heels, no one in the class danced barefoot. Also weird.
Scary lady comes out to the front and steps onto the stage - ah, now I see how this is going to go. She announces that we will be learning two moves today, three if we're lucky. Uh...... ok. Thanks?
First move we learn is the Lola or some crap - essentially a starfish with a showgirl on the end of it (my apologies for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's a backward spinny thing and not that hard). She demos it a couple times, barks out 12 things to remember while executing this 1.5 second move, and then walks around the class picking everyone apart. Now, I'm hip to dancing and can take critique to improve technique, but she was so rude I had to hold myself back from slapping her. First-time girls' faces crumbled as they did their best and the instructor responded with a "yeah.... kind of, just clean it up a bit" and walked on.
Second move, the foxy. This was a fireman spin with a kind of split grip... and God help you if your hands weren't exactly where she told you to put them. Scary.
Third move - ooh bonus! - she didn't even give a name I don't think and basically you reach your hands behind your head, grab the pole and then slip down to do the splits. An excellent move to show people who had never been on a pole before, but she did say "most of you won't get this but I'll show you anyway." Thanks! Some of you may have seen me try to execute this before with mixed results so I didn't mind that it didn't go super smooth, but some poor girls just couldn't even hold themselves up that way and felt all left out.
And then, finally, all of this built up to my favourite thing in the whole world - choreography!!!!!! :-D
As a group we were directed to go through all of these moves to crap music, plus about a dozen others like the body wave and the 180 that I knew and some of the regular girls knew but the teacher didn't actually demonstrate. At all. Now my freestyle spirit likes to dance to my own drum, however, in this scenario this was not acceptable. You land your spin on the wrong side, you get yelled at. Start on a beat other than "1" and you get yelled at. Do that body wave too slow or fast? Voted off the fucking island. So. so. so so. soooooooooooo stupid.
It's 7:15 and I think, "Ok, time for stretching and the chatty portion, this will be nice." Nope, you just stand there and the instructor tells you about the Pole Princess Ponzi Scheme and how there are 7 levels but most people can expect to repeat them several times. If you take casual pole, as that class was, well my friend you are Shit Outta Luck because she tends to teach the same moves in that all the time, and unless you sign up for Level 1 you're screwed. Then she does a pretty wicked demo of some quite impressive acrobatic moves and tells the girls they can maybe be like this one day if they enroll with Pole Princess and come to class 3 times a week for 3 years.
Now, some of you may know that I don't like it when people tell me to do something an exact way. This is why I quit piano and why I do most of my pole knowledge via youtube - because I do it to feel happy and have fun and I figure if it floats it's a fucking boat. So this class rubbed my the wrong way big time. It amazed me that about half the girls were die-hards who came to casual pole every few weeks and were quite stoked to learn the same moves all the time and probably never really improve.
After the class I was interested to have a chat with the instructor and talk about how the classes I was familiar with in Canada were very freestyle, not so much about the choreography and very into modifying moves for various levels of ability. Didn't really get that chance though as she'd already fled to the front desk to play on her iPhone, without even saying good evening to the class. Un. Real.
So, I was a bit let down with the Pole Princess group and wish them the very best success for a business that treats their clients like dumb dogshit. Good luck!
As they say, where one door closes another opens, and later that night I went down to the beach to check out the sunset with Li and this is where I took a stab at skateboarding for the first time. I ride with my left foot in front, she prefers to have her right foot forward, but amazingly we both cruise along just fine together doing whatever the eff we feel like. And we have fun doing it!
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