Stop whatever you're doing right now and open a new browser window. Go to Orbitz.com and book yourself a flight to Bali immediately. Everything else can wait, you need to be here right now!!!
Imagine: White sand beaches, turquoise water, bijillions of fishes, many of them delicious. The rooms are cheap, the delicious food is cheap, the drinks are cheap. There are no cars here, only bicycles and pony-drawn carriages. Locals are friendly, tourists from all over the world are friendly and most are under 35. No cops. And kitties everywhere!!!
I am definitely in love with Gili T in a big big way, and not just because it's an 8 year olds' dream with all the kittens and ponies everywhere. Just the vibe of this place is incredible!!! I keep thinking about that movie The Beach and wonder, "fuck Leo! Spare yourself the drama, you coulda just found paradise here bro!!"
However, there are some drawbacks to this island paradise. It is very very warm and humid, and I spend most of my time being sticky. This is unfortunate as there is no fresh water on this island; yes, even the shower and tap water is extremely saline. I am also covered in bug bites, the skeeters are apparently in love with my maple-syrop blood. Another big drawback is Ryan has an explosive ass, and hasn't been in the best shape for the past 24 hours. He's a bit of a sucky baby when he doesn't feel well but is coming around a bit today and hopes to be in fighting form tomorrow.
I am so so so glad we're here now as planned and didn't just log all our time in Kuta straight away. Kuta is the big party scene in Bali and is chock-full of dickheads in Bintang singlets spewing all over the streets. Lots of cars and garbage and stray dogs and titty girls... was just talking to some folks who went surfing in Kuta and said they came out of the ocean covered in shreds of plastic bags.
Most shocking thing so far about Gili T, besides the sweltering heat of course, is the complete lack of police presence and party party atmosphere and lack of theft. It's the most incredible example of the honour system I've ever seen in my life!! Posters everywhere advertising "bloody-ripper" fungus products and people asking in the streets if you'd like to partake in this and that... but all the tourists are so well behaved!!!
The island operates on a 1-night-on-1-night-off system, with bumping parties every other night. On our first party night it was pissing (warm) rain and it was like a scene out of a Britney Spears video: dozens of wasted youngins drunk off their asses and writhing and wet in the streets. It was beautiful. :-)
So, I'm going to get out there and enjoy more of it... but just wanted to let you know how important it is that you get here as soon as possible before the rest of the world finds out how rad this place is. ;-)
Friday, December 16, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Songs and Videos of Melbourne
Because music and memories are like peas and carrots...
Clap Yo Hands
Disco Disco Disco Disco
Chicks on Longboards
Ready to Go
Clap Yo Hands
Disco Disco Disco Disco
Chicks on Longboards
Ready to Go
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Old Dog, New Tricks
I am 27 years old and yesterday I learned how to skateboard.
I've actually learned how to longboard, which is like the equivalent of owning a scooter and saying you know how to ride a crotch rocket, but it's pretty fun and I've enjoyed spending the last two days cruising along the St. Kilda boardwalk in the sun.
This newfound skill is due in large part to my new pal Li (Short for Lideweine or a similar difficult-to-pronounce Dutch name) who just purchased her new board the day before yesterday when we were walking around town together. Li and are became fast friends over sushi, as can often happen, and we've spent the last three-ish days cruising around together, skating and having picnics. We went to the salt baths again too, which was heaven, because the day before we walked around the CBD for about 7 hours. :-O And then directly after that, I went to a pole dance class. Luckily for my body it was a total joke.
I walked into the Pole Princess St. Kilda location at 6:15, early for class, and was handed a waiver and asked for my $15. I should have known from the two chicks at the front desk being completely absorbed in their iPhones that this experience was going to be a little different from the style I was familiar with back in Victoria. I asked them where the change room was and they vaguely waived me towards a back room on the other side of their lovely studio, mirrors all around, about 9 brass poles and a stage up front with a pole. "Oooh a stage for everyone to do performances!" I thought. Ha.
At 6:35 a super-fit Asian chick sauntered into the room, one of the girls that was texting up front earlier, and asked flat out who had been there before. About half the class raised their hands and she shrugged and plugged in her iPod. We began warm up with sneakers on, her barking out aerobic moves that half the girls knew and the other half, me included, kind of figured out along the way.
We were then instructed to go change, and thankfully I brought a pair of heels just in case as there was no mention of this on the website or on the phone. All the girls in the class donned their high heels, no one in the class danced barefoot. Also weird.
Scary lady comes out to the front and steps onto the stage - ah, now I see how this is going to go. She announces that we will be learning two moves today, three if we're lucky. Uh...... ok. Thanks?
First move we learn is the Lola or some crap - essentially a starfish with a showgirl on the end of it (my apologies for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's a backward spinny thing and not that hard). She demos it a couple times, barks out 12 things to remember while executing this 1.5 second move, and then walks around the class picking everyone apart. Now, I'm hip to dancing and can take critique to improve technique, but she was so rude I had to hold myself back from slapping her. First-time girls' faces crumbled as they did their best and the instructor responded with a "yeah.... kind of, just clean it up a bit" and walked on.
Second move, the foxy. This was a fireman spin with a kind of split grip... and God help you if your hands weren't exactly where she told you to put them. Scary.
Third move - ooh bonus! - she didn't even give a name I don't think and basically you reach your hands behind your head, grab the pole and then slip down to do the splits. An excellent move to show people who had never been on a pole before, but she did say "most of you won't get this but I'll show you anyway." Thanks! Some of you may have seen me try to execute this before with mixed results so I didn't mind that it didn't go super smooth, but some poor girls just couldn't even hold themselves up that way and felt all left out.
And then, finally, all of this built up to my favourite thing in the whole world - choreography!!!!!! :-D
As a group we were directed to go through all of these moves to crap music, plus about a dozen others like the body wave and the 180 that I knew and some of the regular girls knew but the teacher didn't actually demonstrate. At all. Now my freestyle spirit likes to dance to my own drum, however, in this scenario this was not acceptable. You land your spin on the wrong side, you get yelled at. Start on a beat other than "1" and you get yelled at. Do that body wave too slow or fast? Voted off the fucking island. So. so. so so. soooooooooooo stupid.
It's 7:15 and I think, "Ok, time for stretching and the chatty portion, this will be nice." Nope, you just stand there and the instructor tells you about the Pole Princess Ponzi Scheme and how there are 7 levels but most people can expect to repeat them several times. If you take casual pole, as that class was, well my friend you are Shit Outta Luck because she tends to teach the same moves in that all the time, and unless you sign up for Level 1 you're screwed. Then she does a pretty wicked demo of some quite impressive acrobatic moves and tells the girls they can maybe be like this one day if they enroll with Pole Princess and come to class 3 times a week for 3 years.
Now, some of you may know that I don't like it when people tell me to do something an exact way. This is why I quit piano and why I do most of my pole knowledge via youtube - because I do it to feel happy and have fun and I figure if it floats it's a fucking boat. So this class rubbed my the wrong way big time. It amazed me that about half the girls were die-hards who came to casual pole every few weeks and were quite stoked to learn the same moves all the time and probably never really improve.
After the class I was interested to have a chat with the instructor and talk about how the classes I was familiar with in Canada were very freestyle, not so much about the choreography and very into modifying moves for various levels of ability. Didn't really get that chance though as she'd already fled to the front desk to play on her iPhone, without even saying good evening to the class. Un. Real.
So, I was a bit let down with the Pole Princess group and wish them the very best success for a business that treats their clients like dumb dogshit. Good luck!
As they say, where one door closes another opens, and later that night I went down to the beach to check out the sunset with Li and this is where I took a stab at skateboarding for the first time. I ride with my left foot in front, she prefers to have her right foot forward, but amazingly we both cruise along just fine together doing whatever the eff we feel like. And we have fun doing it!
I've actually learned how to longboard, which is like the equivalent of owning a scooter and saying you know how to ride a crotch rocket, but it's pretty fun and I've enjoyed spending the last two days cruising along the St. Kilda boardwalk in the sun.
This newfound skill is due in large part to my new pal Li (Short for Lideweine or a similar difficult-to-pronounce Dutch name) who just purchased her new board the day before yesterday when we were walking around town together. Li and are became fast friends over sushi, as can often happen, and we've spent the last three-ish days cruising around together, skating and having picnics. We went to the salt baths again too, which was heaven, because the day before we walked around the CBD for about 7 hours. :-O And then directly after that, I went to a pole dance class. Luckily for my body it was a total joke.
I walked into the Pole Princess St. Kilda location at 6:15, early for class, and was handed a waiver and asked for my $15. I should have known from the two chicks at the front desk being completely absorbed in their iPhones that this experience was going to be a little different from the style I was familiar with back in Victoria. I asked them where the change room was and they vaguely waived me towards a back room on the other side of their lovely studio, mirrors all around, about 9 brass poles and a stage up front with a pole. "Oooh a stage for everyone to do performances!" I thought. Ha.
At 6:35 a super-fit Asian chick sauntered into the room, one of the girls that was texting up front earlier, and asked flat out who had been there before. About half the class raised their hands and she shrugged and plugged in her iPod. We began warm up with sneakers on, her barking out aerobic moves that half the girls knew and the other half, me included, kind of figured out along the way.
We were then instructed to go change, and thankfully I brought a pair of heels just in case as there was no mention of this on the website or on the phone. All the girls in the class donned their high heels, no one in the class danced barefoot. Also weird.
Scary lady comes out to the front and steps onto the stage - ah, now I see how this is going to go. She announces that we will be learning two moves today, three if we're lucky. Uh...... ok. Thanks?
First move we learn is the Lola or some crap - essentially a starfish with a showgirl on the end of it (my apologies for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's a backward spinny thing and not that hard). She demos it a couple times, barks out 12 things to remember while executing this 1.5 second move, and then walks around the class picking everyone apart. Now, I'm hip to dancing and can take critique to improve technique, but she was so rude I had to hold myself back from slapping her. First-time girls' faces crumbled as they did their best and the instructor responded with a "yeah.... kind of, just clean it up a bit" and walked on.
Second move, the foxy. This was a fireman spin with a kind of split grip... and God help you if your hands weren't exactly where she told you to put them. Scary.
Third move - ooh bonus! - she didn't even give a name I don't think and basically you reach your hands behind your head, grab the pole and then slip down to do the splits. An excellent move to show people who had never been on a pole before, but she did say "most of you won't get this but I'll show you anyway." Thanks! Some of you may have seen me try to execute this before with mixed results so I didn't mind that it didn't go super smooth, but some poor girls just couldn't even hold themselves up that way and felt all left out.
And then, finally, all of this built up to my favourite thing in the whole world - choreography!!!!!! :-D
As a group we were directed to go through all of these moves to crap music, plus about a dozen others like the body wave and the 180 that I knew and some of the regular girls knew but the teacher didn't actually demonstrate. At all. Now my freestyle spirit likes to dance to my own drum, however, in this scenario this was not acceptable. You land your spin on the wrong side, you get yelled at. Start on a beat other than "1" and you get yelled at. Do that body wave too slow or fast? Voted off the fucking island. So. so. so so. soooooooooooo stupid.
It's 7:15 and I think, "Ok, time for stretching and the chatty portion, this will be nice." Nope, you just stand there and the instructor tells you about the Pole Princess Ponzi Scheme and how there are 7 levels but most people can expect to repeat them several times. If you take casual pole, as that class was, well my friend you are Shit Outta Luck because she tends to teach the same moves in that all the time, and unless you sign up for Level 1 you're screwed. Then she does a pretty wicked demo of some quite impressive acrobatic moves and tells the girls they can maybe be like this one day if they enroll with Pole Princess and come to class 3 times a week for 3 years.
Now, some of you may know that I don't like it when people tell me to do something an exact way. This is why I quit piano and why I do most of my pole knowledge via youtube - because I do it to feel happy and have fun and I figure if it floats it's a fucking boat. So this class rubbed my the wrong way big time. It amazed me that about half the girls were die-hards who came to casual pole every few weeks and were quite stoked to learn the same moves all the time and probably never really improve.
After the class I was interested to have a chat with the instructor and talk about how the classes I was familiar with in Canada were very freestyle, not so much about the choreography and very into modifying moves for various levels of ability. Didn't really get that chance though as she'd already fled to the front desk to play on her iPhone, without even saying good evening to the class. Un. Real.
So, I was a bit let down with the Pole Princess group and wish them the very best success for a business that treats their clients like dumb dogshit. Good luck!
As they say, where one door closes another opens, and later that night I went down to the beach to check out the sunset with Li and this is where I took a stab at skateboarding for the first time. I ride with my left foot in front, she prefers to have her right foot forward, but amazingly we both cruise along just fine together doing whatever the eff we feel like. And we have fun doing it!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Dance, Destiny and a Sunday Drive
I've landed a gig here at the hostel as a kind of event coordinator/ dance instructor. There are two poles located in the bar and I've offered up my services to teach girls and guys how to dance. So on Thursday night and Saturday night I went down to the bar here at Base and hung out for a while chatting with folks and getting free drinks for my entertaining services.
On Thursday I went down with Nebh and one of her Irish friends and got on it a bit, danced like a maniac. Ended up down at the beach with three 17 year old dancer chicks and their two super gay musical theatre pals drinking vodka and cranberry in the moonlight. We got very very hammered and one of the girls ended up basking on the sand like an elephant seal and had to do a tactical vom. So cute as she dug a little hole in the sand, spewed in it and then covered it up again like some kind of horrible drunken critter. There may or may not have been some drunken girl kissing on the beach but I certainly don't condone fooling around with underage children or encouraging them to drink. Certainly not.
This pales in comparison to last night which turned into a BLINDER. Cruised down to the bar by myself last night and said to the girls in the dorm that I was just going to have a couple and try to turn in early. Ha.
In the elevator on the way down I ran into a group of very nice Irish girls and had a few rounds with them at the bar, then a group of Kiwi dudes came up and chatted us all up for a bit, then met a group of Melbourne guys who were very rad. A miracle! I'm at the backpacker bar AND I'm having enjoyable conversations. AT THE SAME TIME.
Having a great time chatting with so many interesting people, then suddenly get a funny feeling, like The Quickening of the immortals in Highlander.
Now here's where I start feeling like fate is fucking with me in a big nasty way. Not testing me, like Jesus testing me or something, but just straight up telling me to go eff myself. I look over and who do I see at the bar but Aussie Ben, a summer fling from last year. The gorgeous blonde lifeguard one with half a thumb and a beautiful chiseled body. wtf.
There are what, 3 million people in Melbourne?? Are you fucking kidding me???
Decision time: Do I play it off, go back to my conversations and just ignore him? I think y'all know me a bit better than that. :-)
I lurk on him super sly for a little while, mostly out of politeness as he has some blonde skag bag fawning all over him and I didn't want to eff his game. We ended our brief situation on a good note... actually in hindsight we didn't even really end it we just kind of stopped texting each other as I met Ryan right around that time.
Quickly I tire of this waiting to pounce thing and head outside for some fresh air, then I see him and his pack of buddies walk by. I lean over and ask one of them, "hey, is that guy Ben?"
"Oy! Benny!! This American girl wants to talk to you!!"
He turns and his jaw hits the pavement. Then the biggest shit eating grin I've seen since the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. "Hay gorgeous, how ya goin?"
Oh fuck me I'm in trouble.
Witty banter and I'm traveling and this and that and oh I'm so cool I just barely remember you and your beautiful Adonis body. Fuck. ><
He pulls me into his firm Australian chest and whispers in my ear that his apartment is just around the corner, and for a moment I'm engulfed in flames and his glorious scent. One of the girls in the room is reading out trivia right now and says that scent is the sense that is most strongly associated with memory. No shit Sherlock.
I steel myself and straight arm him, coyly looking away and telling him I can't hook up with him, resisting every animal intention screaming white fire throughout the fibres of my existence. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
"Wot you have a boyfriend or something? aahahaha" Apparently I really came off as the can't-tie-me-down type. o.O "C'mon gorgeous, area codes. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
This is where I start getting angry. Excuse me you prick, just because you are an amazing specimen of masculinity and all that is bangable, what right do you have to try and tell me that it's a good idea to torch my life and hurt my soul mate. You fuck head. No Anna, be calm. He is used to being irresistible and has probably never experienced this kind of protest before, and certainly not from you. Ahem.
Our exchange ends with me giving him my cell number in case I'm with a bunch of girls and we can all meet up at the bar. I don't actually intend to do this of course,but at this stage I think it'd be less risky to smear myself in ground beef and go for a dip in the ocean. It's the most gracious exit I can fathom so don't feel any guilt for it... and I can't help but enjoy the fact that he's texted me four times since that encounter and I haven't responded to a single one. :-D
Recoiling from this pimp slap in the face from fate, I head back into the bar and start chatting with the table again. I end up getting along so so well with this dude Jack, a 6"3 ginger ninja with a serious metrosexual vibe. I told him straight away about the boyfriend situation but he kept on talking to me and buying me beers. I feared for awhile that he was just waiting for the roofies to kick in but we both just kept yakking and pounding back the pints. I tried to smack his wallet out of his hands for all the rounds he was buying but he said to me he just really enjoyed talking to someone real. Oh. My. God. Are you a rainbow too Bob Marley??
I head over to the pole and get the crowd into it and end up dancing like a fucking MANIAC all night long. We shut down the bar, but just keep talking and talking and decide to head to the beach. We walk down to the water and then he leads us to a sharp left along this quiet road and opens the garden gate to one of the houses on the block. Oh fuck, here comes the date rape. He's skinny and I think I could at least land a good strike and run, but he's a footy player so he'd probably outrun me and my paper bag lungs...
But it's fine! He just goes into his room to pick up his hoodie, introduces me to his house cat and we leave in 10 seconds to go down to the water. It's windy as hell so he walks me home but we drunkenly make plans to head to Torquay Bay tomorrow. hahah cheers cheers night night.
8.30am and I hear my phone buzzing. 2 missed calls and 2 texts from Ben and 1 msg from Jack that says he's down to come pick me up at 10am if that's not too early. Oh shit he meant it! I'm going on a road trip today!!! Yay!!!
I tell the ladies of my dorm what I'm up to, leaving them an ETA of when I'll be home and Jack's phone number in case I don't return and the authorities need to be alerted. Yeah, it's kind of silly to jump into the car of a random dude you met at the bar the night before... and maybe after the Toddy situation in Canberra I shouldn't press my luck... but I haven't got this far by making bad decisions and trust my gut.
Wolf down breakfast and head downstairs where he's parked outside in his work truck. I jump in the car and it's like we've been friends for years, yakkity yak as we drive out of the city and out onto the infamous Ocean road. I absolutely get high off the feeling of putting miles behind me and venturing into new uncharted territory and am STOKED.
***Road trip theme song.***
Proud to report no date rape, lots and lots of laughter and funny jokes and the best afternoon I've had in Melbourne to date. He tells me this is the best Sunday he's had in 2011 and I can tell he means it. He insisted on buying me lunch and coffee and driving me to all the beast beaches, asking only that I do the same for him if he comes to Canada. What a sweetie!! He drops me off at the door of the hostel at 4:30 and I leave feeling like I've made a rad rad friend, a kindred spirit, a miracle in a city where so many people have been so incredibly rude and/ or vapid.
We'll probably hang out again before I leave on Friday, maybe go to the pool after his football practice. I have booked some pole dance classes for Monday to Wednesday so I could probably use some after workout relaxation and I can always use good company. :-)
On Thursday I went down with Nebh and one of her Irish friends and got on it a bit, danced like a maniac. Ended up down at the beach with three 17 year old dancer chicks and their two super gay musical theatre pals drinking vodka and cranberry in the moonlight. We got very very hammered and one of the girls ended up basking on the sand like an elephant seal and had to do a tactical vom. So cute as she dug a little hole in the sand, spewed in it and then covered it up again like some kind of horrible drunken critter. There may or may not have been some drunken girl kissing on the beach but I certainly don't condone fooling around with underage children or encouraging them to drink. Certainly not.
This pales in comparison to last night which turned into a BLINDER. Cruised down to the bar by myself last night and said to the girls in the dorm that I was just going to have a couple and try to turn in early. Ha.
In the elevator on the way down I ran into a group of very nice Irish girls and had a few rounds with them at the bar, then a group of Kiwi dudes came up and chatted us all up for a bit, then met a group of Melbourne guys who were very rad. A miracle! I'm at the backpacker bar AND I'm having enjoyable conversations. AT THE SAME TIME.
Having a great time chatting with so many interesting people, then suddenly get a funny feeling, like The Quickening of the immortals in Highlander.
Now here's where I start feeling like fate is fucking with me in a big nasty way. Not testing me, like Jesus testing me or something, but just straight up telling me to go eff myself. I look over and who do I see at the bar but Aussie Ben, a summer fling from last year. The gorgeous blonde lifeguard one with half a thumb and a beautiful chiseled body. wtf.
There are what, 3 million people in Melbourne?? Are you fucking kidding me???
Decision time: Do I play it off, go back to my conversations and just ignore him? I think y'all know me a bit better than that. :-)
I lurk on him super sly for a little while, mostly out of politeness as he has some blonde skag bag fawning all over him and I didn't want to eff his game. We ended our brief situation on a good note... actually in hindsight we didn't even really end it we just kind of stopped texting each other as I met Ryan right around that time.
Quickly I tire of this waiting to pounce thing and head outside for some fresh air, then I see him and his pack of buddies walk by. I lean over and ask one of them, "hey, is that guy Ben?"
"Oy! Benny!! This American girl wants to talk to you!!"
He turns and his jaw hits the pavement. Then the biggest shit eating grin I've seen since the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. "Hay gorgeous, how ya goin?"
Oh fuck me I'm in trouble.
Witty banter and I'm traveling and this and that and oh I'm so cool I just barely remember you and your beautiful Adonis body. Fuck. ><
He pulls me into his firm Australian chest and whispers in my ear that his apartment is just around the corner, and for a moment I'm engulfed in flames and his glorious scent. One of the girls in the room is reading out trivia right now and says that scent is the sense that is most strongly associated with memory. No shit Sherlock.
I steel myself and straight arm him, coyly looking away and telling him I can't hook up with him, resisting every animal intention screaming white fire throughout the fibres of my existence. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
"Wot you have a boyfriend or something? aahahaha" Apparently I really came off as the can't-tie-me-down type. o.O "C'mon gorgeous, area codes. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
This is where I start getting angry. Excuse me you prick, just because you are an amazing specimen of masculinity and all that is bangable, what right do you have to try and tell me that it's a good idea to torch my life and hurt my soul mate. You fuck head. No Anna, be calm. He is used to being irresistible and has probably never experienced this kind of protest before, and certainly not from you. Ahem.
Our exchange ends with me giving him my cell number in case I'm with a bunch of girls and we can all meet up at the bar. I don't actually intend to do this of course,but at this stage I think it'd be less risky to smear myself in ground beef and go for a dip in the ocean. It's the most gracious exit I can fathom so don't feel any guilt for it... and I can't help but enjoy the fact that he's texted me four times since that encounter and I haven't responded to a single one. :-D
Recoiling from this pimp slap in the face from fate, I head back into the bar and start chatting with the table again. I end up getting along so so well with this dude Jack, a 6"3 ginger ninja with a serious metrosexual vibe. I told him straight away about the boyfriend situation but he kept on talking to me and buying me beers. I feared for awhile that he was just waiting for the roofies to kick in but we both just kept yakking and pounding back the pints. I tried to smack his wallet out of his hands for all the rounds he was buying but he said to me he just really enjoyed talking to someone real. Oh. My. God. Are you a rainbow too Bob Marley??
I head over to the pole and get the crowd into it and end up dancing like a fucking MANIAC all night long. We shut down the bar, but just keep talking and talking and decide to head to the beach. We walk down to the water and then he leads us to a sharp left along this quiet road and opens the garden gate to one of the houses on the block. Oh fuck, here comes the date rape. He's skinny and I think I could at least land a good strike and run, but he's a footy player so he'd probably outrun me and my paper bag lungs...
But it's fine! He just goes into his room to pick up his hoodie, introduces me to his house cat and we leave in 10 seconds to go down to the water. It's windy as hell so he walks me home but we drunkenly make plans to head to Torquay Bay tomorrow. hahah cheers cheers night night.
8.30am and I hear my phone buzzing. 2 missed calls and 2 texts from Ben and 1 msg from Jack that says he's down to come pick me up at 10am if that's not too early. Oh shit he meant it! I'm going on a road trip today!!! Yay!!!
I tell the ladies of my dorm what I'm up to, leaving them an ETA of when I'll be home and Jack's phone number in case I don't return and the authorities need to be alerted. Yeah, it's kind of silly to jump into the car of a random dude you met at the bar the night before... and maybe after the Toddy situation in Canberra I shouldn't press my luck... but I haven't got this far by making bad decisions and trust my gut.
Wolf down breakfast and head downstairs where he's parked outside in his work truck. I jump in the car and it's like we've been friends for years, yakkity yak as we drive out of the city and out onto the infamous Ocean road. I absolutely get high off the feeling of putting miles behind me and venturing into new uncharted territory and am STOKED.
***Road trip theme song.***
Proud to report no date rape, lots and lots of laughter and funny jokes and the best afternoon I've had in Melbourne to date. He tells me this is the best Sunday he's had in 2011 and I can tell he means it. He insisted on buying me lunch and coffee and driving me to all the beast beaches, asking only that I do the same for him if he comes to Canada. What a sweetie!! He drops me off at the door of the hostel at 4:30 and I leave feeling like I've made a rad rad friend, a kindred spirit, a miracle in a city where so many people have been so incredibly rude and/ or vapid.
We'll probably hang out again before I leave on Friday, maybe go to the pool after his football practice. I have booked some pole dance classes for Monday to Wednesday so I could probably use some after workout relaxation and I can always use good company. :-)
Back to Base-icks
I've been waiting a bit to get posting on my time in Melbourne, mostly because my first few days here weren't the best. I always do my best to find the silver lining though, so during my first few days:
There are a lot of Irish people here looking for work, some of whom are brutal full-time boozehounds who wonder why no one here will hire them. Strange, I thought employers would jump all over unreliable piss heads who have barely comprehensible english and a grade 10 education. I've learned that in Ireland everyone is cousins with everyone, and this is very convenient when you are a backpacker. Walk around a bit and you'll see a girl you went to school with! Or just find someone with an Irish accent, same as you, and within a few minutes you'll find out that you're related and there's your drinking buddy for the night. Sorted!
I did meet one lovely girl in my dorm during those first bleak days, Nebh (Pronounced Nieve), a plump nerdy girl I bonded with instantly when I saw a copy of "The Corrections" by Jonathan Franzen on her bunk and realized that there was another literate person in the building. Her and I went shopping together, to the state library (I went twice) and went to the salt water baths. The baths are so so so amazing, I love them and am so very stoked they're only a couple blocks away. Big warm salty swimming pool, big salty hot tub with jets and a big eucalyptus scented-steam room - bliss. This cured Nebh's hangover when she drank 3 glasses of free champagne the night before.
There were three Danish girls staying in my dorm who all looked like various versions of Giselle and very very blonde and gorgeous. This made Nebh a little self-conscious, but I found it funny and a little delightful to wake up and look across the room and see so many pairs of perfect Danish boobies saying good morning to me. Yes, these girls slept naked.
The girls in my room now are also quite lovely, the girl sleeping under me is from Quallicum of all places hahahha. The best thing about staying in Sanctuary is that the girls have paid that little bit extra and made a conscious choice to have a nice nest to come home to at the end of the day. These girls tend to be literate, interesting, well-traveled and nerdy. But they also like to stay in their room, cook all their meals and go to bed early so it's a bit of a mixed bag. :-P
Sights I've seen in Melbourne so far include:
Yes Melbourne, you are massive. St Kilda is SO wonderful and chill and the CBD is big and bustling and full of very important and stylish people. The tram is cheap and I've mastered it easily, there are many varieties of beautiful Australian men everywhere. It's actually quite lovely here, once you get over how awful it is. :-P
- I was able to wear my stylish new jeans because the weather was windy, grey and cold, with occaisional rain.
- I finished two books because the people I met during these first few days were really into leaving me my own space.
- Furthermore on that note, I've really brushed up on my small talk skills as people in the city are so challenging to connect with.
- I've been really stimulated by getting stand-offish folks to buy me drinks as the booze at the bars is really expensive.
- I have a new found appreciation for beer as the free "champagne" offered to girls staying in sanctuary is the equivalent to a vomit time-bomb.
There are a lot of Irish people here looking for work, some of whom are brutal full-time boozehounds who wonder why no one here will hire them. Strange, I thought employers would jump all over unreliable piss heads who have barely comprehensible english and a grade 10 education. I've learned that in Ireland everyone is cousins with everyone, and this is very convenient when you are a backpacker. Walk around a bit and you'll see a girl you went to school with! Or just find someone with an Irish accent, same as you, and within a few minutes you'll find out that you're related and there's your drinking buddy for the night. Sorted!
I did meet one lovely girl in my dorm during those first bleak days, Nebh (Pronounced Nieve), a plump nerdy girl I bonded with instantly when I saw a copy of "The Corrections" by Jonathan Franzen on her bunk and realized that there was another literate person in the building. Her and I went shopping together, to the state library (I went twice) and went to the salt water baths. The baths are so so so amazing, I love them and am so very stoked they're only a couple blocks away. Big warm salty swimming pool, big salty hot tub with jets and a big eucalyptus scented-steam room - bliss. This cured Nebh's hangover when she drank 3 glasses of free champagne the night before.
There were three Danish girls staying in my dorm who all looked like various versions of Giselle and very very blonde and gorgeous. This made Nebh a little self-conscious, but I found it funny and a little delightful to wake up and look across the room and see so many pairs of perfect Danish boobies saying good morning to me. Yes, these girls slept naked.
The girls in my room now are also quite lovely, the girl sleeping under me is from Quallicum of all places hahahha. The best thing about staying in Sanctuary is that the girls have paid that little bit extra and made a conscious choice to have a nice nest to come home to at the end of the day. These girls tend to be literate, interesting, well-traveled and nerdy. But they also like to stay in their room, cook all their meals and go to bed early so it's a bit of a mixed bag. :-P
Sights I've seen in Melbourne so far include:
- Melbourne Museum aka the House of Horrors
All the taxidermy, insect and disgusting human body crap you would ever want. Also currently home to the King Tut exhibit which was rad. - State Library aka HeavenMassive beautiful building, home to the Ned Kelly exhibit and other neat rare book displays. Free internet and quality people watching.
- Multiple malls, markets boardwalks and street shops. I'm not allowed to buy anything as I'm headed to Bali in a week but there's a gorgeous necklace I spied on my first day and will likely be picking that up.
- Miscellaneous gardens and parks, gaudy statues of naked nymphs frolicking in fountains and impressive 1890s architechture from asshole to breakfast.
- My favourite restaurant, Lentil As Everything, which serves several types of curries and there are NO PRICES on the menu, you just pay whatever you think your meal was worth. Amazing chai tea, vegan (yes Jennifer, vegan) and so so so tasty.
Yes Melbourne, you are massive. St Kilda is SO wonderful and chill and the CBD is big and bustling and full of very important and stylish people. The tram is cheap and I've mastered it easily, there are many varieties of beautiful Australian men everywhere. It's actually quite lovely here, once you get over how awful it is. :-P
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